Short answer
A good stay interview is a voluntary, prepared conversation about what helps someone do good work, what creates friction, and what should happen next. Explain the purpose and confidentiality limits, ask open questions, avoid promises you cannot keep, document agreed actions, and return on a specific date. Never treat the answers as a prediction.
What a stay interview is for
A stay interview happens while someone is employed. Its purpose is to understand their experience and agree any useful action that is within the organisation's control. It complements engagement measures, regular one-to-ones, grievance routes, wellbeing support, and exit interviews. It does not replace them.
NHS Employers' retention discussion guidance describes stay conversations as individual discussions about factors that may affect a person's decision to stay or leave, with flexible questions adapted to local circumstances. The CIPD turnover and retention factsheet places retention within a wider practice of understanding why people leave and reviewing appropriate organisational responses.
A conversation can surface context. It cannot reveal a hidden “true” intention, guarantee retention, or establish that one workplace condition caused a future decision.
Prepare before asking questions
Use this worksheet before sending an invitation:
| Field | What to decide |
|---|---|
| Purpose | The work experience or transition the conversation should help understand |
| Participant choice | How the employee can accept, decline, reschedule, or request another interviewer |
| Interviewer | Manager, skip-level leader, HR partner, or another suitable person |
| Confidentiality boundary | What is private, what may be recorded, and what must be escalated |
| Topics | A short discussion guide relevant to the employee and situation |
| Action scope | What the interviewer can change, escalate, or only explain |
| Record | What will be written, where it will live, and who can access it |
| Follow-up | Owner and date for each agreed action |
Do not introduce the meeting as “confidential” if the interviewer may need to escalate a safety, legal, conduct, or wellbeing concern. Explain the boundary in plain language before the employee shares anything sensitive.
Choose a short discussion guide
Choose questions that fit the purpose and leave space for an example. A useful starting sequence is:
- What part of your work has felt most worthwhile recently?
- Which work situation has been harder than it needs to be?
- What support or opportunity would make a practical difference?
- What have I misunderstood or failed to ask?
- What may we record, who owns the next step, and when will we review it?
Use the stay interview question bank for topic-specific follow-ups and a conversation record. For ownership, alternative interview routes and returning to participants, use the retention interview best-practices guide.
The GOV.UK guide to in-depth interviews recommends a discussion guide with starter and follow-up questions while allowing the conversation to develop. Prepare enough structure for consistency, then listen for the employee's actual context.
Ask follow-ups without turning the conversation into an interrogation
Useful follow-ups seek an example and its conditions:
- “Can you describe a recent moment when that happened?”
- “What was different on the occasions when it worked?”
- “Who or what would need to change for this to improve?”
- “Is that your experience generally, or in a particular situation?”
- “Would you like this recorded as an action, discussed elsewhere, or left here?”
Avoid questions that suggest the approved answer, demand personal disclosure, or ask the employee to commit to staying. “If we fix this, will you stay?” makes a promise and a decision out of a conversation that may contain only partial context.
A fictional worked example
Jordan manages a US customer implementation team. Priya has completed a difficult launch and has mentioned wanting broader responsibility. Jordan invites her to a stay interview, explains that participation is optional, and says he will record only agreed actions. He also explains which concerns would need a different route.
Priya says she values customer problem-solving but is frustrated that urgent support work repeatedly replaces planned development time. Jordan could infer that she intends to leave. He does not. He asks for a recent example and learns that the problem is concentrated in two accounts without a clear escalation owner.
They agree on one action: Jordan will assign a rotating escalation owner for those accounts during the next delivery cycle. Priya will try one discovery session for an upcoming project. They set a review date and record both commitments.
At the review, the rotation may have helped, failed, or created a different problem. Priya may still choose another role. The stay interview's value lies in a clearer work decision and honest follow-up, not a claim that the organisation retained her because of the meeting.
Choose the interviewer with care
The direct manager is often best placed to change priorities, workload, recognition, or development. The direct manager may also be the subject the employee cannot discuss openly. Offer another route where appropriate.
| Situation | Possible interviewer | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| Strong working relationship and local action needed | Direct manager | Can discuss and own practical changes |
| Concern involves the manager | Skip-level leader or HR | Reduces the immediate conflict |
| Cross-team or career move | HR partner or receiving leader | Can explain options beyond one team |
| Formal conduct, safety, or wellbeing issue | Designated specialist route | Stay interview is not the right case process |
Do not select participants because software has labelled them as likely leavers. Use transparent moments or populations, such as an onboarding review, a role transition, a team change, or an open invitation.
Turn notes into actions without breaking trust
Before recording anything, agree what will be kept. Separate:
- the employee's own words or approved summary;
- the interviewer's interpretation;
- an agreed action;
- a concern routed through another process;
- a team theme that should only be used in aggregate.
An action record should name the owner, scope, and review date. If the requested change cannot happen, say why and identify any alternative. Silence after the interview teaches employees that the invitation was theatre.
For a framework on reviewing patterns without treating them as individual verdicts, read Employee Retention Signals: A Human-Review Framework.
Where guided preparation fits
Lontra can help an employee prepare examples, help an authorised manager prepare questions, and bring an agreed action back at the next conversation. It does not decide whether someone will leave, promise retention, or replace the manager, HR, or a formal employee-relations route.
The trial covers one campaign with up to 30 invitations for 60 days, with no card required. Choose one defined population, explain the purpose and access rules, and decide how follow-up will work before sending invitations. Studio is a subscription module and is not free standalone access.
Explore employee conversations with Lontra. Use the HR action card to agree how the team will respond to the context collected.
The standard for a good stay interview
The employee should leave knowing what was heard, what will be recorded, what the interviewer can do, who owns the next step, and when the subject will return. The interviewer should leave with fewer assumptions, not a hidden risk label. A useful stay interview earns its place through honest action and follow-up, even when the employee's eventual choice remains uncertain.